I write from many perspectives.
Sometimes, I write as an expert. Other days, I write as an observer. Once in a while, I write as a wife.
Tonight, I'm writing as a mother.
More precisely, I'm worried about my son's future.
I'm not talking about anything too profound. I'm just concerned about the whole notion of school.
Unless you read my other blog, Quoibles, you might not realize that I've started him in a pre-kindergarten program at an academically-based, highly reputable franchise.
He goes to the school three days a week, four hours a day. I chose this direction for him because I felt he could learn a great deal from being around a more structured environment than I can offer him at home.
Specifically, I was hoping he'd:
- become more familiar with the concepts and expectations of a student-teacher relationship;
- begin to gain a new sense of independence and self-discipline; and
- learn exciting concepts/ideas.
But all that's happened so far is that he begs me every night before he goes to sleep NOT to send him to school.
He doesn't like it. He really doesn't like it.
And it's making me crazy.
Other mothers tell me to wait--in time, he'll adjust. He'll get used to it. He'll suck it up.
But I'm not sure I really want him to do that.
Maybe he shouldn't HAVE to like it. Maybe he cries for a reason. Maybe he needs something else, something different, something as unique as he.
I've gone so far as to investigate the possibility of homeschooling, at least for now and possibly kindergarten. That would mean more work for me and my husband, but I can already see it could be potentially rewarding.
What to do? (I'm open to suggestions.)
Though I plan to wait a few more months, I can't ignore this nagging sensation that what he's going through is unnecessary and somehow wrong.
To be perfectly fair, his teacher is lovely, the other kids are great... I just don't know if he's going to make himself so sick over going that it's going to break my heart in two.
A mother's heart can only take so much pounding before it shatters into a billion tiny tears.