Tuesday, April 22, 2008

Nothing like a little anti-social behavior, right?

The Setting

The park, complete with plenty of playground stuff to do.

The Set-up

My son (a.k.a. "Mr. Anti-Social") heads to a piece of gym equipment. He is headed off at the pass by a little fellow about a year or so his junior.

The Conversation

Little Guy: (to my son) Will you be my fwiend?

Mr. Anti-Social: (says nothing and walks past the kid while rolling his eyes and making sure their bodies don't bump into each other)

Little Guy: (again, in soft tone) Will you be my fwiend?

Mr. Anti-Social: (says nothing and looks at me like, "This guy is kidding, right?")

Me: Be nice!

Little Guy: (eagerly, knowing Mr. Anti-Social is in a bit of trouble) Will you be my fwiend?

Mr. Anti-Social: Eh. (looks at me, then looks at Little Guy) I... don't know. (shakes head)

Little Guy: Let's pway!

Mr. Anti-Social: (backs away) Nah...

Little Guy: Come on!

Mr. Anti-Social: (walks away from equipment) Let's go home.

Me: (to Little Guy's mommy who has been watching this whole discussion without any expression on her tired face) Uh... sorry... my son... uh... sorry...

Nothing like a fun time at the park, right? And I call myself a "lone wolf"... sheesh.

Monday, April 14, 2008

Unconventional dieting methods

It's almost bathing suit season in the northern hemisphere!

So for all you folks who don't want to starve yourself to drop the pounds, why not try some of these methods (tongue-in-cheek, of course) to shed some weight?

To lose 1-5 pounds:
  • Shave hair off head and body. Sure, you'll look like a rat, but the scale will love ya.

To lose 1 pound (or so):

  • Get rid of that appendix. Do you really want to wait for it to burst? (Look into dropping a kidney while you're at it. Maybe you can get a two-for-one sale from the surgeon.)

To lose a few ounces:

  • Ask your physician for a tonsillectomy. After all, they're just hanging around.

To lose another few ounces:

  • Get those pesky wisdom teeth removed.

OR you could...

Learn to love yourself for who you are and know that the outside doesn't really count.

Wednesday, April 9, 2008

Another reason to eschew Chuck E. Cheese

I'm telling you -- Chuck E. Cheese is the devil's den. Wait. I take that back. Even Satan would have trouble staying sane amidst the clanging, screaming and tasteless pizza.

Here's a news item that proves my point. It's from our local paper.


Tuesday, April 8, 2008

If "Only"...

I'm an only child.

But that's wonderful. I've never wanted to be anything else.

No brothers, no sisters, no problem!


It was with great interest that I read a CareerBuilder article suggesting that first-borns and only kids tend to make the most money. (The author apparently decided not to talk with me... ahem... the life of a freelance writer does not a huge bank account make.)

The article goes on to suggest that middles make the least money, but are awesome negotiators, and those "babies" of the family do pretty well because of their innate charm.

Interesting, but is it all a parlor game?

  • My question to you is: Do you think birth order has played a significant role in your life? Why or why not?

(For the record, I definitely feel being an only child has affected my world, both negatively and positively... but mostly positively.)

Sunday, April 6, 2008

I knew it!


I knew it, I knew it, I knew it!

Check out this link: http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_a7jkcMVp5Vg/R_hU3FTzP7I/AAAAAAAAElU/oMQxYEKzx-c/s1600-h/iknewit.jpg

(From today's PostSecret batch.)

(By the way, I've been out of blogging action recently just to finish some major projects. I've missed everybody and am hoping to finally get back into the swing of some spring blogging!)