Wednesday, September 17, 2008

I'm not stylin'... but I'd like to be

My son is five and has a signature style -- he always carries or wears sunglasses. For years, he's worn sunglasses almost daily and he switches between several pairs depending upon his mood and outfits. People actually recognize him by his sunglasses.

I'm quickly approaching 37 and I have never had a signature style. In fact, I am relatively non-descript. Physically, nothing stands out. I'm short and average looking. Style-wise, I'm conservative and pretty pathetic.

In other words, I'm as bland as warm, unflavored gelatin.

What gives?

I mean, don't get me wrong. I'm thrilled that my kid has fashion sense and the self-confidence to be a little wacky and different and fun. He's proud of his sunglasses and talks about getting camouflage ones for his collection. (Alas, I haven't found any for the cutie.)

I just feel like a dweeb, I guess. (That's GenX for "geek" or "nerd" for you GenY visitors.)

I'd really like to enjoy having a signature fashion style, too, but I'm at a loss for what that could be. The closest thing I come to making a "statement" is the fact that I frequently wear my hair in two puppy tails.

Is that a signature style? I don't know. (Maybe I should ask Sarah Palin, whose dark-rimmed glasses have bowled over so many?)

Sigh. All I can say is that my child is already more hip than I could ever hope to be. Guess the "coolness" gene skipped a generation, huh?

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Pet Peeve #4,308

Men's shirts that are colored or striped but have a WHITE collar.


Didn't those things die in the 1980s along with madras ties made from cotton fabric?

Monday, September 15, 2008

The sick puppy

I'm absolutely a sick puppy, and I'll prove it right now:

I like Mondays.

I do. How weird is that? Most people hate the start to the work week, but I find it invigorating. (Usually, anyway.)

Of course, it may have something to do with the fact that, being a freelance writer, I'm not workin' for "The Man". (Actually, I'm working for "The Gal" -- me.) So it's not as oppressive as when I worked in corporate America slinging around nonsensical terms like "paradigm", "out-of-the-box" and "buy-in."

So... am I the only Monday liker here?

Saturday, September 13, 2008

Just what I needed to hear...

Dear Visitors (especially those with kids):

So my son looks at me this afternoon and asks, "Mommy, how come you look so young?"

Flattered, I start stammering. And I reply, "Well... I don't know. Why do you think I look young?"

He says, "You're so short... you look young."

So I guess it's a compliment... sort of. Hey, it put a smile on my face.

But before you assume an angel burst forth from my womb five years ago, allow me to tell you what he said about half an hour later.

Giggling, he told me I was a "one-eyed hack."

Of course, he had no idea what he was saying (...or did he?) But what a phrase. I think I should use it.


Angelique, a.k.a. The One-Eyed Hack

Monday, September 8, 2008


My son recently turned five years old. How it seems like just yesterday that I was up with him all night -- every night -- as a new, scared, exhausted, unsure mommy.

For the first months of his life, he didn't sleep. The term everyone uses for such kids is "colicky". To me, it was a hellish nightmare; I remember very little of the time.

One thing I do recollect very clearly is watching television in the wee hours of the morning. Anything to keep me awake. And this song became my anthem; every time it was on MTV, I literally hugged my squawling infant just a little tighter, vowing not to let my lack of psychic energy get in the way of our begin together for a lifetime.

Enjoy... and please share any tunes that take you back...

Why we need "Get Out of ______ Free" cards

My husband and son went miniature golfing yesterday and were privy to the incredibly painful conversation of a couple ahead of them.

This UN-dynamic duo was apparently on a first (and hopefully last) date; as hubby tells it, the discussion was enough to make you want to jump into the river. Let's just say that it turned to comments like, "Does your office have a cafeteria? Mine used to"

In cases like this, wouldn't it be nice to have little cards that say: "This date is officially over. It's okay. You can go home."? You could silently hand the card to couples on dates that are obviously tanking. Then, they'd be free to leave without having to worry about hurting one another's feelings.

What other cards do you wish you could hand out to strangers? Maybe "Please don't wear that color again" or "Turn off the cell phone... now"?