Tuesday, December 18, 2007

[As Yet Unititled]

Like all writers, I have my strengths and weaknesses. And I work on honing the former and minimizing the latter.

One of my strongest abilities is in formulating good lead-ins. I feel fortunate to be able to design paragraphs that draw the reader in and keep his/her interest. I think that's been a large part of my success thus far.

However, I stink at titles. Really, really stink. The stench is palpable and has probably felled a dozen or so cattle in the last year alone.

It's something that doesn't make sense. I'm a creative individual, and I have a decent command of my native tongue; yet I cannot seem to put together titles that sing. (Usually, they just cough and sputter.)

With that in mind, I thought it would be fun to play a little writing exercise just to work on developing our imagination and innovation.

I came up with the following five titles (all appropriately bizarre), and I'm inviting you to engage with me in a simple game. We'll try to come up with a description of the stories, plays, poems, et cetera that could "match" the titles.

For instance, if the title were "Knockers on Fourth Street", I would suggest that the corresponding work could be a compilation of photographs (coffee table book style) of door knockers in the historic district of a town. Alternatively, the title could be for a children's book about a family whose last name was "Knockers" and who lived on Fourth Street.

Okay, so onto the titles so you can play, too!

Just be inventive and crazy -- the wilder, the better. I don't have any prizes, but you'll win oohs and ahhhs from your peers! And who knows? You might find inspiration from the experience.

Title #1. "Porcelain Mummy"

Title #2. "Chocolate Shadow"

Title #3. "A Penny's Worth of Night Owls"

Title #4. "Tulip Treasures"

Title #5. "Snippets of Satin"


Minx said...

Title #1. "Porcelain Mummy"
A novel...Too fragile for housework, too fragile for the school run, now it appeared that Frances Glass was too fragile to keep her husband. Was she now too fragile to take a lover who wrestled for a living?

Title #2. "Chocolate Shadow"
Nimit Dobmonger teaches us the art of chocolate shadowing - the newest art form to hit the kitchens of London.

Title #3. "A Penny's Worth of Night Owls"
Novel - Was Beatrice Love a kindly night nurse or was there something more sinister behind her midnight medicine?
Title #4. "Tulip Treasures"
Children's book - Tulip's new school friends were avid collectors. Stamps, coins, cards and small plastic dogs were all swapped in the playground. Would Tulip keep her friends once they discovered her bizarre collection of toenails?

Title #5. "Snippets of Satin"
Coffee table book - Blogger Queenie Quoibler takes us on a whirlwind tour of beautiful photographs of her journey through other peoples satin bedwear. "I am never without a discreet pair of nail scissors for nipping off a sample" she declares. This book has won the Furtive Nipper Award for three years in a row.

As for your title problem, Q, be patient, titles often come after a piece is written.

The Quoibler said...

Minx: You had me laughing out loud. That was delightful. Let's see if some other "kids" come to the playground to contribute! (Though you'll be a damn hard act to follow!)

Hoodie said...

I'm sorry, the minute I read "Knockers on Fourth street" I thought of hookers with ample bosoms. I'm naughty. *is ashamed*

It will take me too long than I have at the moment to think anything I'd dare share for the others. I'll try to get back with you.

Hoodie said...

Make that "longer than I have." Two thoughts merged resulting in poor grammar. *is still ashamed*

The Quoibler said...


Never fear! We'll love you no matter what you write! Seriously! So even if you can only come up with one description, GO FOR IT! :)

Also -- I thought of "knockers" as boobies, too. You're not the only sick one in the blogosphere!


Mary Witzl said...

Porcelain Mummy -- The other toys all assumed that Annette had never been given the breath of life. Pristine and serene, she sat smiling her painted porcelain smile on the top shelf of the collection, until one day she was wrapped up in white tissue paper, and taken away. Then they learned that Annette had kept a secret: in her quiet way she had kept them all together. Now they knew they had to get her back.

Chocolate Shadow -- Nguyen Van Lu, a hired killer, has always worked alone, and he's always liked it that way -- until Hershey Barre comes along, that is. Will Nguyen really take on a disciple who is only twelve years old?

A Penny's Worth of Night Owls -- Insomniac Penny Sansdormir and her friends decide that since they can't sleep, no one else in their dormitory ought to either. Speed in the espresso machine, phantom sound systems rigged up in the attic, fleas and itching powder in every dorm bed ensure a dorm full of nervous wrecks.

Gosh, I'm garrulous. I'm running a fever just now, but once I saw this, I could not resist. Plus, you gave me an award and won my eternal gratitude! Wish I could spend more time on this. I'm having a ball procrastinating, yet again, between rejection letters...

The Quoibler said...


You might be running a fever, but you're hilarious!

I laughed out loud, especially at "Hershey Barre". Gawd, this is a funny game, isn't it?

I hope you're feeling better so you can tell me about "Tulip Treasures" and "Snippets of Satin"!

Also -- to you and Minx -- if you get the time, invite other crazies here. I am just getting such a kick out of this that I definitely don't want it to end yet! :) We need more wacky ideas!


Church Lady said...

Happy Birthday to you!
Mary said it was your birthday on her blog. (I think. Hope it was you!)

Church Lady said...

Okay, now I see you *DID* have a birthday!!

I loved my thirties. But I like my forties even more. ;-)

Church Lady said...

I'm here again.
Consider me the guest who never leaves.

Okay, some brief descriptions of your titles:

Porcelain Mummy--
Quoibler at age 36. Quoibler at age 46 will be plastic mummy from all the plastic surgery from eating her chocolate shadows.

Chocolate Shadow--
Quoibler collects recipes from her blogging friends for the perfect chocolate cake. She then eats everything and gets fat.

A Penny's Worth of Night Owls--
Quoibler spends every waking moment, and every penny, on Chocolate Shadows. She is a Night Owl porking out on Chocolate Shadows.

Snippets of Satin--
No-one will sleep with Quoibler on her new satin sheets because there's not much room left on the bed. Lovers have to be content with Snippets of Satin.


SzélsőFa said...

Title #1. "Porcelain Mummy"
A novel about a wife in a golden cage of her marriage. Sounds a bit boring, I know, I know. Or, a story about a preciuos item that is stolen from a museum. Just as much boring. Well, this is it.

Title #2. "Chocolate Shadow"
About a hunting experience with lots of vivid description of crazy and not-so-crazy colored people.

Title #3. "A Penny's Worth of Night Owls"
Kids set up a secret society in the summer camp to find out something sinister about the whole camp. Heehee.

Title #4. "Tulip Treasures"
About a hermit.

Title #5. "Snippets of Satin"
This must be definitely a love story.

The Quoibler said...

Church Lady:

Oh, my! I don't know whether I should laugh or not! :) Must. Get. On. Stairmaster. ha ha ha



I loved the first one. It's not boring at all! Thanks for playing this silly exercise! I'm having tons of fun reading everyone's ideas!

Church Lady said...

Just joking!! Two of your legs equals half of one of mine.

Ello said...

Chocolate shadow

The story about why only men suffer from skidmarks...

The Quoibler said...

Church Lady:

No worries! I used to have problems with an eating disorder, but I'm way past that. (And am now blogging for www.breakingthemirror.com -- pop over for true confessions.)

Now, my jiggling barely registers with me... though it does register on the Richter scale, interestingly enough...



That is truly disgusting. I applaud AND laud you.