Five Things I’d Rather Do Than Go Shopping on Black Friday
5. Personally give my cat a tongue-bath.
4. Unclog a toilet in a public facility using my bare hands.
3. Clip, shape, and polish the toenails of a professional drifter.
2. Model a bikini under harsh florescent lighting for a crowd of angry teens.
1. Listen to an opera based on the life of Dog the Bounty Hunter.