Are You Afraid?

Like most writers, I have a complex relationship with the emotion called "fear". After all, it can be a terrific motivator at times. But it can also lead one's creativity and acumen to lock up for lengthy periods.

Each year on January 1st, I honestly examine my personal fears and attempt to tackle one or more throughout the upcoming year. Since we're halfway through 2007, I'd like to introduce a new concept for me - My Biggest Writing Fear.

Last night, I thought long and hard about what I fear the most from a freelance writer's point of view. Was it the fear of success? The fear of failure? The fear of rejection? "No" to all.

What I fear the most is burnout.

If you've ever overextended yourself in any aspect of your life, you'll immediately understand what I mean. The exhaustion. The depression. The lack of motivation. The oversleeping. The underperforming. It's a real bitch-and-a-half.

Of course, now that I've named my fear, I have to work through it so I can leave it behind me and pursue my future goals.

But first, I have an assignment to finish by close of business today... then another... then another...

sigh.

(Did I mention that overcoming your fears is a hell of a lot more difficult than it sounds?)

So this leads me to a question for any visitors to this blog... what is your biggest fear as a writer?

Speak up... no need to be... afraid. : )

Healthy or Not?

Obviously, writing is mentally taxing, but it's also exhilarating (most of the time.)

Still, then and now we writers (and our dependents and spouses) become ill, requiring trips to the doctor's office (and perhaps some prescription meds as long as they don't turn our musings into garbled rants.)

This leads me to scribble on a topic I've wanted to discuss for a while... health insurance costs.

First, let me say that I believe in health insurance. But I think health insurance should be set up in a manner similar to auto insurance - only for big emergencies. I wish we could simply negotiate a fee with our family physicians and pay out of pocket for "routine maintenance" (just like you do with your car or truck.) When crises occurred, we could then "fall back" on our insurance.

However, our system isn't set up that way.

Thus, my family (consisting of a freelance writer and a contract lawyer who is desperately trying to escape the legal profession) pays a whopping amount each month for insurance. Again, I'm not against paying something; after all, when my husband busted a rib and practically wrenched his knee out of the socket while playing ice hockey, we would have been broke had we not had a decent health insurance company.

STILL...

I keep wondering if there is some discounted "freelance writer" health insurance available on the market? (Yes, I know it's a pipe dream.) If you've heard of anything for Pennsylvanian authors, please pass it along!

P.S. Sorry this post lacks any humor whatsoever. I'll try harder next time to be a perky turkey! : )

For Entertainment Purposes Only

Okay, so I'm not a medium, psychic, or Tarot card reader. But many professional horoscope writers aren't (I know... I was paid to write one once upon a time...)

Consequently, I'm offering next week's predictions (July 1st-7th) for fellow freelancers:

Aries: You may be an active ram, but you need something to keep up your energy. Try heavy doses of sugar and caffeine interspersed with long naps.

Taurus: Expect a bullish week, but avoid producing too much bulls*&t. It's good for your garden but bad for your reputation.

Gemini: Your cat will spit up a fur ball loudly while you're on the telephone negotiating a better rate with an editor.

Cancer: No one is watching, so scarf down that gallon of Haagen-Daas at 2:00 a.m. while desperately trying to meet a deadline. You can always work it off later (yeah, right.)

Leo: Let procrastination guide you this week. Surf the 'net. Read made-up horoscopes. Google yourself. It'll be like a mini-vacation.

Virgo: Expect the unexpected. (I don't know what that means. But you should probably back up your files.)

Libra: Are you "balancing" your work and home life? Nah? No problem. It's overrated. Let the dust bunnies accumulate and write instead of cooking dinner. The kids can fend for themselves.

Scorpio: Screw it. Take up a bad habit this week. Why not? You deserve it. Dammit.

Sagittarius: Learn to love your thunder thighs this week by using your ample lap as extra desktop space. A potbelly makes an excellent temporary armrest.

Capricorn: Food remnants are destined to become stuck under your laptop keys. Invest in some forced air, or merely blow hard (to save money) to dislodge. Use this as an excuse for missing a deadline.

Aquarius: You'll wrestle with a number of dilemmas this week, including whether to take a shower on a daily basis. Be adventurous - see how long it takes until your family begs you to bathe.

Pisces: This week will bring a temporary lull in your hectic lifestyle. Use it to kick back and reorganize your mounting pile of rejection slips.

Ode to My Boss

My boss can be a real pain in the derriere.

There. I said it. You heard me right.

My boss is, at turns:

• supportive
• demanding
• arrogant
• childish
• professional
• immature
• flattering
• nasty
• downright mean
• evil
• angelic
• grumpy
• hilarious
• cocky
• rude
• passive aggressive
• cool and collected
• bitter
• jolly
• helpful
• selfish
• cool
• thoughtful
• smart
• ignorant
• idealistic
• pessimistic
• realistic
• nihilistic (not really, but it seemed to fit from a poetic standpoint)
• cute
• ugly
• reasonably attractive

Well, I could go on and on... but you get the point. She's a total beast.

Oh!

Wait!

I forgot the most important fact of all...

I work for myself. : )

The Dream of 72 Hours

I have a recurring dream involving 72 hours (or, if you prefer, three whole days) all to myself.

My 72-hour dream mini-holiday goes something like this:

• First 12 hours - sleep
• Hours 13-15 - write
• Hours 16-18 - exercise
• Hours 18-21 - read (for pleasure! no, really!)
• Hours 22-24 - write
• Hours 25-72 - repeat cycle with slight variations

Sigh.

I think I'd wind up very happy.

(For those who might be wondering, eating would be scattered throughout the "awake" hours. I'm kind of a "nibbler" anyway, so that suits me just fine.)

Isn't it a beautiful fantasy?

But back to the present. I think my almost-four-year-old is destroying the fabric of the universe...

Balancing the Tightrope

I might as well be in a circus today.

I have many "urgent" articles and assignments due, and I'm not quite certain how I'll complete them all. I know they'll be finished come heck or high water, but right now I'd honestly like to find out some little elves completed them as I slept! (That being said, I would still seriously edit the pieces for clarity. I don't know if elfish literary skills are up to par these days.)

Ironically, I kind of love this stress of being a writer. It's challenging, and it forces me to prioritize like I've rarely had to before. Sometimes, I feel like an ER doc. Most critical writing first! It's triage at its finest, and it's kind of exciting.

I know this is nothing new.

Most writers have walked this crazy tightrope, trying hard not to fall off into the net of a bad reputation ("S/he never does what s/he says she will. Don't work with him/her anymore.")

It's just interesting, that's all.

Back to the grind...

Giving Away the Store

Remember what it was like, starting out as a freelancer?

(Maybe you're already just beginning your writing career, in which case this posting will be even MORE relevant!)

Do you recall how every job seemed so special, so amazing? Any amount of money, any copyright agreement, any assignment was the "right" one.

That was pretty cool... until the day you were thumped on the noggin by a falling anvil with the word "SUCKER" printed all over it.

Such an occurrence happened to me recently.

I was innocently Googling one version of my name (yes, I admit it...) and came across literally dozens of hits. Excitedly, I started surfing the many seemingly-unrelated sites, only to realize that an article I had written a while ago had been somehow promoted everywhere.

It was great PR... for the publication's website.

Yes, I got my little old byline, for which I should be eternally grateful. But I also got zero in terms of payment for all those times my article was being used.

Know why?

I SIGNED AWAY ALL RIGHTS TO THE PIECE WHEN I SOLD IT.

Yep.

I messed up.

To their credit, the client paid me quite well for the writing I initially did. And I suppose I can use the continuing publicity to my advantage in some ways which I haven't yet considered.

But dang.

I'm the first person to advise other writers to seriously consider the consequences of giving away all rights to a work, even if it's just a 1,000 word article, for crying out loud. And here I am, eating my words (which would be better with a side order of greasy fries, by the way.)

Ooops.

Next time, I'll not only read the fine print but also mull over what could happen down the road.