Monday, January 28, 2008
Sunday, January 27, 2008
1st Luvs
Do you remember the first person you thought you "loved"? (I'm talking romantically, not your mommy or daddy... unless you're a wacko or sicko or weirdo who should really be in therapy instead of reading this non-Oedipal posting.)
For me, it was Scotty P. I was two or three, he was five years my senior. We both hated getting our hair washed.
Love, I tells ya. Love.
He didn't like me, of course -- what seven-year-old is going to dig a toddler? But fortunately his brother Mark (who was two years older than Scotty) would hold him down so I could smooch away.
Those boys were handsome, and I'm sure they are hunky forty-somethings. I've long since abandoned my adoration of Scotty, but I still have fond feelings for my first true love. So innocent, so naive.
So... tell me about your first love.
(And make sure you name names -- that's more fun.)
For me, it was Scotty P. I was two or three, he was five years my senior. We both hated getting our hair washed.
Love, I tells ya. Love.
He didn't like me, of course -- what seven-year-old is going to dig a toddler? But fortunately his brother Mark (who was two years older than Scotty) would hold him down so I could smooch away.
Those boys were handsome, and I'm sure they are hunky forty-somethings. I've long since abandoned my adoration of Scotty, but I still have fond feelings for my first true love. So innocent, so naive.
So... tell me about your first love.
(And make sure you name names -- that's more fun.)
Thursday, January 24, 2008
Tuesday, January 22, 2008
Unconventional methods to teach abstinence
Fab gal Aine inspired me with her comment in yesterday's post to come up with some unconventional methods to teach abstinence to teens. Her thought was to have them work at Chuck E Cheese (a.k.a. "The Devil's Den".)
A few others I managed to come up with during this quick break from work are:
- Have them spend a week with a teen mother who has a newborn at home. Make sure they have to sleep in the same room with the baby. Ha!
- Give them an allowance, then take away what they'd have to shell out for diapers, creams, lotions, formula, and other necessities. Watch their mouths drop in horror when they realize there's nothing left!
- Make them assist during a few deliveries in a local maternity ward. Provide them with a bucket in case vomiting ensues. Don't allow them to look away.
- For a month, don't allow them to do anything with friends. Keep them in the house. Make them do laundry night and day. Let them know this is what will happen if they have a child. No parties, no dances, no hanging out. Nothing.
- If you're a mommy, show them all your stretch marks (otherwise known as "war wounds".) As they run screaming from the room, yell, "Honey! Wait'll you see what happened to my breasts!" Then laugh maniacally.
What are your ideas?
A few others I managed to come up with during this quick break from work are:
- Have them spend a week with a teen mother who has a newborn at home. Make sure they have to sleep in the same room with the baby. Ha!
- Give them an allowance, then take away what they'd have to shell out for diapers, creams, lotions, formula, and other necessities. Watch their mouths drop in horror when they realize there's nothing left!
- Make them assist during a few deliveries in a local maternity ward. Provide them with a bucket in case vomiting ensues. Don't allow them to look away.
- For a month, don't allow them to do anything with friends. Keep them in the house. Make them do laundry night and day. Let them know this is what will happen if they have a child. No parties, no dances, no hanging out. Nothing.
- If you're a mommy, show them all your stretch marks (otherwise known as "war wounds".) As they run screaming from the room, yell, "Honey! Wait'll you see what happened to my breasts!" Then laugh maniacally.
What are your ideas?
Monday, January 21, 2008
Thursday, January 17, 2008
Medieval blog post
(I'm tired of 21st century living today, so the following irreverent posting is written as though I were a woman living in the middle ages. Sorry to offend. Happy to amuse.)
January 17, 1350
What a surprise. Another burial to go to tomorrow. It's the third one this week. Can't we just email our respects? They're GONE. They don't care. And I'm tired of all the gloom and doom.
Plague, plague, plague. I'm sick to death of it. Can't people talk about anything else these days? I mean, yeah, you lost most of your family who oozed and hacked until they rotted on your family's floor. But, geez, at least you don't have to make dinner for a tribe of 15 anymore! Come on! Look at the bright side!
Seriously, things have gotten really macabre around here. I can't remember the last time we all got together for some rollicking good fun like playing "stone the leper" or "poke fun of the mentally weak." Now THOSE were some good times!
Instead, we're all relegated to sitting around and counting the rats that have accumulated in our homes. Damn little pests -- but they can get kind of cute, too. Just wish they didn't carry those bugs on 'em. Oh, well. They don't do any harm.
Oooops -- gotta go. The porridge is boiling over... what a day!
January 17, 1350
What a surprise. Another burial to go to tomorrow. It's the third one this week. Can't we just email our respects? They're GONE. They don't care. And I'm tired of all the gloom and doom.
Plague, plague, plague. I'm sick to death of it. Can't people talk about anything else these days? I mean, yeah, you lost most of your family who oozed and hacked until they rotted on your family's floor. But, geez, at least you don't have to make dinner for a tribe of 15 anymore! Come on! Look at the bright side!
Seriously, things have gotten really macabre around here. I can't remember the last time we all got together for some rollicking good fun like playing "stone the leper" or "poke fun of the mentally weak." Now THOSE were some good times!
Instead, we're all relegated to sitting around and counting the rats that have accumulated in our homes. Damn little pests -- but they can get kind of cute, too. Just wish they didn't carry those bugs on 'em. Oh, well. They don't do any harm.
Oooops -- gotta go. The porridge is boiling over... what a day!
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